Why Don’t They Just Leave?

A recent argument saw voices at odds on the subject of transwidows. For those who haven’t heard the term before, it’s the women who were married to men who came out of the closet as ‘transgender’ later on in the marriage or relationship.

Not all trans people are abusive – that needs to be made clear here and now. However, the landscape has changed drastically over the last few years and most of those who now self-identify as ‘trans’ are no more than fetishists. I don’t want to go any further in explaining about the menz though because they’ve already had more than enough airplay in all of this.

Lisa M

Demands of self id now

I wish you hadn’t put your blog on private. I was enjoying reading that. And not just the recent stuff…I’d gone all the way back to the beginning. But anyway. . .

Tweaking

Nope. Not a typo fer twerking. Tweaking.

Recent disappointments have led to an inevitable reexamination of focus and what role I actually want to play in the trans debate. I may, or may not, talk about the specifics of those disappointments in coming weeks but right now, my consideration has to be given to how much of my focus is given to supporting Trans-identified Males.

Purity Politics & the wheels on the bus. . .

Purity politics are rapidly becoming the go-to words to shutdown debate and complaint. More recently I’ve seen it pulled into conversation when someone, usually of a lower social standing, makes a complaint about someone standing alongside a known ‘right-wing’ organisation. I know this isn’t limited to women in feminism because I’ve seen it used elsewhere online but it is always used when a person’s political values are being challenged because of a questionable alliance. It’s certainly easier to throw in a catchy label rather than take the time to justify the reasoning behind giving support to a group which have a shit-load of views you wouldn’t ordinarily be seen to spout yourself. What concerns me is the apparent lack of good faith in doing so.

Preliminaries in Love

A few months ago I came across an article I found intriguing. It was based around a survey of how stress affects sex life – but that wasn’t the interesting bit for me. What grabbed my attention were the tables contained within. I’m looking at the stage before we even get to love; how we practice rejection of those who don’t fit our criteria.

Thought Experiments

I hate thought experiments and hadn’t realised they were so popular within academic philosophy. I’m not sure it would’ve been enough to put me off doing the course if I’d known beforehand, but seriously? I’m sitting here screwing up my face at the thought of listening to a bunch of grow-ups pontificating about whatever it is they think about how they think they’d act in an imaginary situation…but anyway.

Spinning…and maybe some weaving…

Gender ideology has exploded over the last couple of years and it is only when you bear witness to an online battle you can truly appreciate the level of hostility, stupidity, and downright what-the-fuckery which is raging between the opposing sides fighting for dominance. The gender debate has raged particularly fierce on Twitter, with those on Facebook only recently taking notice of the extent of the absurdity which is taking place under their noses.

Twitter is mostly a cesspit of misinformation, shit information, and openly abusive males. I’ve never been a fan of the place although I do use it and was glad to find a handful of people on there who were provoked by similar issues. I’ve spent the last eighteen months watching the most significant gender apostates get booted off the platform for making some pretty basic statements. Outlandish claims such as ‘men can’t become women’, ‘you’re a man’, and ‘women don’t have dicks’ were cited as being just too offensive. Saying ‘lesbians are same-sex attracted’ has provoked similar outrage amongst the ban-happy moderators yet the males demanding that lesbians accept their dicks as clits on sticks have remained. It’s hard not to see any of it as anything more than raging misogyny.

Silence as an act of aggression

Silence can be violent. I’m not sure what that means for those who are fond of meditating or those who preach of silence being golden, or even if it means anything at all. The silence I refer to here is that which takes place after a fight, or instead of an argument – the stuff that occurs on an interpersonal level. Anyone can find themselves in the position of being convinced there’s just no point in talking to a significant other. Maybe you’ve said what needed to be said two or three times already and nothing changes, so you stop communicating anything of importance. If you’ve tried everything from dropping subtle hints to having a full-blown screaming fit and got nowhere, you might give them the silent treatment instead. To deny communication would be an effective way to send a message to the other person’s psyche that says you are nothing to me. If we’ve tried to express something we consider important to us because we need something to change and our observations are met with dismissal or hostility we’re likely to take the other person’s reaction personally. We hear you’re not important enough for me to change this situation even though I have the power to do so. When this happens we have two immediate choices; we can put up and shut up, or we can leave. Ironically, shutting up is one sure way of ensuring the demise of the relationship. Does this not spell the beginning of the end of the intimacy? Or do we commit psychic suicide and allow a part of us to die off inside instead?

Exorcising Those Demons

A chapter on exorcism and possession in The People of the Lie had my head in a spin. I left the woo scene many moons ago and now have trouble reading any book or article which tries to explain superstition or the supernatural. Although my main gripe is that it’s littered with inconsistency and can take excessive amounts of mental effort to sift through the words. Many humans are psychologically affected by ritual. Ritual can be shown to lessen anxiety, improve performance, and help people grieve after bereavement. I’m not only speaking of the hardcore stuff such as exorcisms, weddings, and funerals but the small ones we do too. Tapping on a surface, eating a particular food and lighting candles – any of those things you do compulsively to ward off negativity or improve your luck, are rituals.

Psychological Gargoylism – A keeper of a phrase?

I love the term psychological gargoylism which was probably coined by M.Scott Peck. It’s the only reason I’m writing any of this at all. I actually just wanted to put the term out there, the rest of this post may well be no more than window dressing.

But for now, it’s about those kids…..

Excerpt from People of the Lie, by M. Scott Peck (1983).